What am I to you?
by Chirhoiota
Summary: The Doctor and Clara has been growing distant as the darker side of the Doctor surfaces. As they have one of their last adventures together, the Doctor poses the most important question in the universe between themselves, 'What am I to you'. Will their bond strengthen once more or shatter- will Clara save or lose his Doctor. Eventual Whouffaldi- T for now, probably will stay.


Doctor Who Fic.

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"Clara! Clara…," the Doctor exhaled, "You. Stay. Behind there and keep your head down!"

The time lord pointed behind a shipping container,

"And when I say go, you go, run for the TARDIS, like your depends on it."

"But… Doctor!"

"No time Clara. Get out of their line of sight!"

Whilst the Doctor dealt with the incoming barrage of aliens using nothing but his sonic, Clara- poor little human Clara crouched down behind the container that had been hidden near the outside of the hangar, hanging on to the view of his Doctor until he was out of his sight.

She shut her eyes concentrating at the sonic hoping that it wouldn't suddenly disappear, to ensure herself that the Doctor was already dropped dead at the hands of the savage alien race- name completely unpronounceable for humans.

As reckless as the aliens were, it was simply a mere bad influence that had turned them into savage beings. The one who had called themselves that translated into 'The Providence' had promised the innocent child race power and knowledge and what better offer had that been in exchange of nothing.

Clara counted the seconds that had passed,

"1," gunfire was present, the aliens were shouting, the doctor's sonic reverberating throughout the hangar,

"2,"

"3", a loud explosion had followed, smoke dispersed,

"4," nothing,

"5", still nothing,

"6"

"7"

"8"

"9" Clara swore that if not on 10 then 11 it was,

"10," the shouting continued but no sonic

"11" Clara resisted, '_give it another second she thought'_

"TWELVE" the word flashed before her mind as her ears rung relentlessly from the nearby explosion and bombshells and the bursts of laser fire.

Her heart sank as 13,

14,

15,

16 seconds passed,

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"CLARA!" the Doctor suddenly yelled with a Scottish lilt,

Immediately she stood up and ran towards the TARDIS, before she could open the door she saw his Doctor and the aliens who were not far behind shooting their firearms, significantly outnumbering the Time Lord.

It took a while before her eyes could register what she had saw,

The Doctor had been shot but somehow he was still staggering forwards- the complete opposite direction from safety and at that moment Clara witnessed something she'd never seen before.

A completely heinous grin that had flashed across his face, it made her heart stop dead in dread and horror. He read and saw her face but ignored, and then he had somehow produced a device that horrifyingly resembled a bomb from his endless pocket and threw it unforgivably towards them.

The explosion lasted quickly not even for a second killing the aliens instantly, the Doctor staggered through the door forcefully nudging Clara away, the TARDIS chorused as it began to materialise out the planet and into the time vortex.

"Doctor- I…" Clara bit her lip in frustration, anger, terror and disbelief and took all her dignity to stop herself from lashing out,

"Death- homicide wasn't the answer for them. That was unjustified what you did there!"

The Time Lord before her froze, startled at the statement as he avoided looking at her face. Clara was sure she had spotted his grey-blue's gleam off in annoyance as his free hand fisted whilst clutching onto the wound, conjuring regeneration energy onto it.

Clara on the other hand had leaned against the TARDIS door tears welling in her eyes and biting her knuckle.

As the TARDIS halted Clara took what may be the one last glance at her Doctor as he muttered,

"Sometimes a best defence is a rapid and decisive offence," He paused now with both of his hands clutching onto the console, "Clara…" he looked at her, "I was not letting you go out there and get yourself killed, even for the right of-"

_The right of what!? _She screamed in her head.

"Oh spare me the lecture Doctor" she snapped fervently, his voice hitched inside his chest,

"You are the Doctor and _you_ had _always _found an alternative…"

Clara was not ignorant to not have noticed how much the Doctor had cared for her and he knew that he go to extremely length protect her from the beginning- from the force that willed for her silence. However, they had reached the inevitable, certainly too much for her and her human capacity to maintain her emotions at bay… and the Doctor- well she was unsure if it was _her _Doctor anymore.

She had begun to think that his title was an overstatement.

He wasn't the man she knew.

Clara was in a blizzard of conflicting emotions, she decided before collapsing that she'd leave. Dreading whether it was for good or not and dreading for the next Wednesday that would come.

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The next day was any ordinary day as a high school English teacher, when she had gone home that evening. She did nothing but cry onto her pillows as she did the night before. She had also started to pick up a habit of reading a book which she read throughout the sleepless Friday night.

On the Saturday she finished her work and had gotten ready for her first 'official no nonsense psychopathic alien involvement' date with Danny that evening, it was so short notice she nearly had took the whole day to recompose into a dignified manner and for once that week enjoy herself and keep all her worries tucked away in the far distant of the universe.

"Hey, Clara ready to go for the movies?" She took his arm as he led her inside the Taxi,

"Yes, let's enjoy ourselves this evening…"

"Let's."

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Clara had to excuse herself amidst of the film unable or at least not wanting to fathom how her life had compared to the fictional film- the fall of one then another, diminishing friendships, distanced families, endless contemplation, complicated relationships… she had not seen the film entirely and had difficulty of whatever genre it fell onto. It had action, romance and adventure- not that it would mean anything. She wondered why they were watching such a melancholy story which Danny promised a fixed ending- but who was she to judge, _no_ hadn't seen the end and it also seemed that she was running away from it.

"Clara, are you alright? You don't really seem like yourself today,"

"No, no I'm fine, just the stress a- and also the about the film,"

"You didn't enjoy it? Should we-"

"No, I meant it just reminded me of things," Clara partly lied.

"I'm so sorry, I should have noticed sooner…"

"It's nobody's fault Danny let's just get to my place for supper, how about that?"

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Supper was nice she had supposed- the sense of mutuality, the compassion for one another, their conversations. It had been a great evening overall if it weren't for the constricted feeling of her chest and the now every so often 'traumatic' memories resurfacing that had her adrift reminiscing and once again her emotions were at war much to her frustration now acting up,

"Was it something I said?" Danny said as he twirled his fork in the pasta,

"Sorry?"

"Clara, if there's anything bothering you then you could tell me, I know that look… what's really bothering you Clara, please you can tell me we're partners, right?"

"Oh it's 'family' matters" she could almost but said,

Danny remained silent in scepticism and was suddenly greeted by a confronting but lonely passionate kiss, Clara continued but realised that Danny had not entirely been responding. She stopped, embarrassed nonetheless.

He pulled her from him carrying his plate on hand,

"I'm sorry Clara, it was too fast…" he went to the kitchen sink and started to do the dishes, "Also the next time we do this I want you to be you- happy and recuperated. I just don't think you're…"

Flustered by shame she replied, "Yes, I- you're right. Sorry, I really am- this had been a disappointing night…"

"I can only hope that whatever conflict you're experiencing is to be resolved, if there's anything I could do to help you I would, really anything for you."

He set the dishes to one side and dried his hands onto the cloth, "Please Clara, let me help you- for the sake of our relationship?"

"Yes, I'll consider that," she hugged herself.

"Goodnight Ms Oswald," he kissed her cheek and put his coat on, walking towards the house door.

"Goodnight Mr Pink…" she smiled a lonely smile at him and he replied with the same gesture, only to sympathise for her, she waved he left -then shut the door.

Exasperated, she ran upstairs to her bedroom to cry once again into her pillow like how it had been from the other nights.

Oh what had her life become…

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It was Wednesday morning, never in her life had Clara dreaded such as day before- of course there were some circumstances like a job interview, her gran's funeral but that was life and with the Doctor- it was different. He was a ticking time bomb.

"Toast," she said to no one, and stood for a moment to let out an energetic sigh, "Breakfast".

Clara had bread in the toaster, some cereal in her bowl, coffee in her mug and then was ready to go she thought, sitting down at the dining table to eat.

She took another bite of her cereal. Her chewing was the only sound in the whole entirety of her small flat-which was interrupted by strange whirrs of a particular TARDIS…

Strange, he was unusually early and at the halt of the whirs she took at as her cue to leave the house... **NOW.**

As she headed for Coal Hill High she saw the Doctor leave her front yard with her bag- filled with her students' books, she berated herself for being such an idiot- how would you teach literature without writing? Clara was also in despair for not being able to drive, it wouldn't make running away from the Doctor more effective but she would do anything in the multiverse for more time away from _him._

She sped walked towards her bus stop relieved to find a bus at the distant that would hopefully arrive on time with her. Although for the Doctor who was meters away- he had closed off a considerable amount of meters from her.

"Clara!" he called, "You've forgotten this!"

Clara ignored him and did not look back as the Doctor presented he rucksack at her back. Thankfully the bus was on time- the class would just have to suffice with pen and paper for their English lesson today, since having 'alien' in a sentence for her excuse would not be very convincing.

_Miss why don't we have our English book, miss?_

_I'm afraid I've accidentally left it with a schizoid alien before I left home for work… _She'd thought- no it wasn't very convincing at all.

As she stepped on board with several commuters behind her, Clara felt the presence of the Doctor come in as she paid her fare to the driver,

"Move," the Doctor pushed through, "MOVE!" he screamed with a solid Scottish tonality. Clara could see the faces of distaste for the Time Lord.

"Clara!" he greeted joyfully, "What's wrong? I've been calling out to you! What teacher would leave their students' books behind?"

At that moment she realised that at least more than a quarter of the bus was occupied with children going to school, which were now sniggering at the remark. The adults though, were not one bit happy at the scene they were creating.

She flushed in annoyance and attempted on convincing that she does not now this 'man' was,

"Thank you, sir." She took it from him promptly avoiding his eye contact.

The Doctor's eyebrow elevated. Her heart quickened as she went upstairs onto the upper deck and decided to sit next to an elderly woman in the packed bus. As for the Doctor- he didn't follow, simply because he hadn't had the right money for this time period. So the driver had him hastily leave the bus, much to everyone's delight.

But that didn't stop him from following her. To Clara's embarrassment she heard him shout to her whilst this old man ran almost effortlessly for quite a period of time- surprising the passengers,

"Clara! I need you for something," he was now slowing down near the red traffic light in which he eventually stopped to say earnestly, "I **need** to show _you, _Clara…"

She had definitely heard him say it fearfully, Clara felt guilty- but for once she let this one go.

"Do you know him? He seems to be looking for you if not me…" the woman beside her questioned,

"No, no- I've never met him in my life," Clara revoked, "what a delirious man, mistaking people for his."

"Look at him; in his eyes- he looks lonely as well. I swear… he's extremely lost."

"Well, he probably is," replied Clara surprisingly with indifference, shocking herself.

She turned away from the window as the bus began to move and let her heart sink into a black hole- large enough to swallow the universe in whole. She hugged her rucksack in remorse and anguish as she heard the woman's words run over and over again- like a broken cassette tape,

_Lonely and extremely lost._

What was she doing? She should have done something _more,_ but she couldn't and she wouldn't. Clara Oswald knew why and it was breaking her.

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"Right class is over and remember to complete your homework due tomorrow. I won't tolerate any more uncompleted work!"

The bell rung for recess and the whole class scrambled for the door, off to their lockers or the canteen.

Clara spent another 5 minutes completing marking, confirming emails and tidying the classroom- much to her dismay.

She was on her way to discuss matters with another of the school's English teacher when she was stopped by the janitor's closet. Clara resisted on opening the door when she heard a voice indicating that it could only be the person she had thought it would be. She entwined her fingers from the handle and started walking to the English department, half in wonder why she was now actually running.

Just before she could turn to the next corridor she was quickly grabbed by her shoulders, she wanted to scream but there was no need when the door shut closed on the staff bathroom, he spoke as she spun her around hands still clenched onto her.

"Answer me Clara!" The Doctor commanded. He looked at her but Clara could only fold her arms and look away, "what? What is it? Did I come back too late?"

The Doctor opened the door and stuck his head out, looking for the first human child he could find, "Hey you!"

"What do you want?" The girl answered sourly as she texted on her phone.

"Give me the date!"

"Give me a sec, alright old timer?"

"Give me the date you utter dunce!" The Doctor demanded impatiently.

The girl looked at him sarcastically with hurt and took her time to get another gum out,

"It's the 1st of October, and why you callin' me a dunce when you're the twat who doesn't know the date."

"Right okay it's the correct date, no altering timelines created there," He muttered, "I'm surprised that you human child understood."

"Well, yeah… bruv- learnt it in English."

"Learnt? You're capable of that?" The Doctor was now really surprised.

"Why, you bein' prejudice and that- I might got a sharp tongue and that but yeah I've got A stars innit, what you think about that."

"Well I've been to an actual star, several actually." The Doctor countered, "Now shoo! Scuttle, go to class." He gestured.

"What are you even doin' in the bathroom eh, innit?"

He slammed the door on her and faced Clara,

He pointed outside, "Now listen to me Oswald, I need you to come with me now!"

She remained silent and the Doctor move his head inches closer to her. He then stepped back and placed the back of his hand onto her forehead, Clara flinched,

"Do you have a fever, you feel quite hot."

_Is he being serious?_

Clara shut her eyes briefly and let her arms fall, "No I don't, now go back from where you came from and find yourself another companion to devastate,"

"Clara…" the Doctor simply said,

"I've gotten myself a boyfriend, I'm moving on with life for once…"

"Clara, have you chosen this boyfriend over me, a time lord? Of all the worlds I've shown you. Are you already bored of it?"

"No, I loved travelling, it was a real honour- cherished those moments when you haven't blown people up! But I've reached a conclusion where I have thought to myself that I say goodbye, not so long- or maybe guess what? You'll either find yourself in a parallel universe, become brainwashed or find myself dead with my boyfriend."

Those words struck the Time Lord's twin hearts as it seemed to freeze, the Doctor grabbed her wrist- it was so tight that it had cut her blood supply to her hands.

"Tell me Clara, what do you think of me? As of right now…"

She gulped as he inclined dropped his head closer to her, her heart had stopped as well as the Time Lord himself stopped time for both of them.

"You fear me Clara… that's what you _feel _of me."

Clara shook her head as she held her breath, the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You need to understand, please. If you're really leaving me for your humdrum life and boyfriend- then for the last time, if it is the last time, please come with me to our last adventure together."

The human was unresponsive again which made the Time Lord rage- his face contorted, his nostrils flaring, his eyes forming an intense gaze and he clutched her hands even tighter,

"Doctor! Stop! Stop it you're hurting me!" Clara cried out, "Please…"

"What am I to you?" The Doctor posed as he released his hands from her wrists. He spun around, fingers on his temples, "What is the answer Oswald?"

"I don't know Doctor, I don't know!" she sobbed.

"I've have also asked you this question before," he stared his blue-greys now for the first time since ever and meets with her brown ones,

"Am I a good man? Do you want to know the answer?!"

Clara nodded and found herself dragged inside the TARDIS once again, not knowing, not caring what'll happen to her with a mad man and his box. Frankly, she couldn't think of anything worse that could happen. Not anymore.


End file.
